IF THE NEXT PRESIDENT WERE A DOG

Since there are a few dogs out there running for President of the United States, I thought I would let everyone out there know how it would be different if the next President were a dog.

• There would be a doggy door in the oval office
• At press conferences, instead of “Mr. President,” reporters would shout, “Here fella!”
• Goodbye Whitewater Scandal, hello Toilet Bowl Water Scandal.
• The Washington Monument would be replaced with a hundred-story fire hydrant.
• The United States might have a more coherent foreign policy.
• Public Enemy #1 would be that neutering bastard Bob Barker.
• The secret service and the CIA (Canine Intelligence Agency) would be dispatched to catch that little chuck wagon.
• The Country would really be run by the dog’s smarter poodle wife.
• Here’s your new national anthem: (videotape of dog barking the x-mas jingle).
• One word: Snausage Gate.

Think this clever post was written by me, do you? Nope, it was stolen from David Letterman on The Late Show on his July 8, 1994 broadcast.

I think I would like to add one more…The Senate would pass a bill for more naps.

Tuffy, since you are running for President, what do you think would be different if you were President?

Does anyone have anything to add if the next President were a dog?

Explore posts in the same categories: dog humor, dogs

Tags: bob barker, canine intelligence agency, dog president, doggy oval office, hundred-story fire hydrant, neutering bob barker, snausage gate, toilet bowl water scandal, whitewater scandal

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