IT’S NOTHING PERSONAL..IT’S JUST PAWLITICS
After voting on Super Tuesday I displayed my little blue and white sticker that proudly announced…., “I Voted Today”. I came home and phoned my friend to complain about my voting ordeal. I had no idea that Jonesy was “listening in” on my conversation. The next day I overheard Jonesy, Sissy and Tinky (my three Chihuahuas) discussing my conversation.
“Jonesy: Do you know why mommy was upset yesterday?
Sissy: I thought she was in a little funk.
Jonesy: She left early to vote and had a little problem with voting.
Tinky: Is that why she left us so early?
Jonesy: Tinky, don’t interrupt! Anyway, mom got to the voting place and they didn’t know who she was.
Sissy: They didn’t know who she was? They should know her, everyone knows her. They should have said, “Welcome nice lady with the three adorable smart Chihuahuas. Do you want to vote? Don’t worry, I know who you want to vote for. Let me help you mark your voting card. Would you like some tea and a cookie?”
Jonesy: That’s right. They didn’t have her name in the voting book. Mom said that she got there 15 minutes after the voting place opened and they didn’t know 6 other people either! Mom said to the voter people that she thought it was a Dogmocratic conspiracy, and all she wanted to do was to vote for the Giants.
Tinky: Maybe they thought mom was here illegally? That’s why we can’t vote. We don’t have any papers……Viva La Raza!
Jonesy: Shut up Tinky! I’m trying to tell you something! Since mom wasn’t in the voting book, she had to fill out a big pink paper. She said they wanted to know her whole life story and she thought that they might ask for her first born.
Tinky: Aw, that’s not so bad, I won’t miss you.
Jonesy: Then after she did that, they let her have a ballot so she could vote.
Sissy: Well, what’s so sad about that?
Jonesy: Mom said that they take all her papers to some place where the voting stuff goes. Somebody looks at her pink paper to see if she is really a nice Chihuahua Lady and if she really is a Repawblican. If she isn’t lying to them, then they will count her vote.
Sissy: That’s mean. Mom doesn’t lie. But at least she got to vote, right?
Jonesy: Tinky, quit licking yourself, and listen to me!
Jonesy: Well, yes and no. She said her vote will stay with the vote counting people and will only be counted if the two Repawblican people were tied. I guess those guys don’t count very good and they wanted to wait and do it only if they had to. Mom said her vote won’t even be counted.
Sissy: What the hey! How do you know that?
Jonesy: ‘Cuz mom said that about 10:00 p.m. they already called the winner. Can you believe that? They called a winner and didn’t even count mom’s vote. And the winner wasn’t even the one mom voted for!
Tinky: That’s Pawlitics for ya!
Sissy: We have to be extra nice to mom today. No pooping in the bedroom, no getting in the bathroom trash, and Tinky, no fighting with Jonesy. Okay?
Jonesy and Tinky: Awww…alright…”