Archive for the ‘humor’ category

THREE HOT DOGS

June 24, 2008

Last week we had a horrific heat wave. It’s been averaging 107 degrees. Since  I work and it has been so hot, I can’t help think about Jonesy, Sissy and Tinky all by themselves at home. Of course they have plenty of water, but you still can’t help worry about them. 

I heard that dogs keep cool by panting, and by wetting their chests. Aha!…I got a bainstorm and decided to get a little pool for the dogs to swim in so they can keep cool (I know….I’m watching entirely too much Dog Whisperer). After work, I went to Wal Mart and bought a little two ring plastic kiddy pool. I blew it up and filled it with nice cool water.

Since there is no life guard on duty, I sat with them and gave them a few pointers on swimming. I also made them watch this doggy swimming video a few times until I thought it sunk in. 

Once I felt they were water safe, I put them in the pool. Ooooh what a wonderful time they had splashing and paddling around the pool. They were sooo happy, and loved the water. I think I may have to get Jonesy some water wings!  I just know Tinky wants to go on the high diving board. Sissy was so thrilled and was splashing all over the pool (yeah…right).

Seriously though….I will put the dogs in the pool every night after work. Once they are out of the pool I will give all of them some treats. I figure in a few weeks, they might get this idea….

      

          HOT DOGS              + WATER                        = TREATS

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

June 20, 2008

I THOUGHT I WOULD END THE WEEK WITH SOMETHING LIGHT AND HUMOROUS.

NO MATTER WHAT SITUATIONS LIFE THROWS AT YOU….NO MATTER HOW LONG AND TREACHEROUS YOUR JOURNEY MAY SEEM….

REMEMBER, THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!

I just thought I would give a little inspiration to all my doggy bloggy friends……Have a nice weekend!

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF….

June 19, 2008

 

IF YOU AND YOUR DOGS USE THE SAME TREE, YOU’RE SURE’NUFF A REDNECK

Okay, it’s time to get silly again. I love to get silly pictures from Flickr or Google Images and try figure out captions for them. Can you think of another caption for this picture?

If you leave a comment with a caption, a winner will be decided and once again the  “Meritorious Service To The Case of Blogdom” honor will be bestowed upon the winner. Just to let you know that receiving this honor means nothing. It’s  like underwear to Sharon Stone.

The captions will be tallied by my co-workers and tabulated by the CPA (Chihuahua Public Accounting) Firm of Jones, Siss & Tink, Inc. Come on now…..put your thinking caps on. Let’s see if we can out-caption Dennis, or Tony at TazBlog I know you can do it! 

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A STUFFY

June 17, 2008

Hello everyone! My name is Harry and this is my little buddy Cheech the Chihuahua. For no reason,  Sharon at Chasing Squirrels With Rusty stuffed us in this little box and shipped us off to California. We were in that box for what seems like an eternity.  It was very dark in there and it was not fun being bounced around from Texas to California. Besides Cheech was a little gassy and he kept farking (farting and barking),  and that was not very pleasant for me.  I wish Chihuahuas would stop eating beans.  When we got to California, this nice lady opened up our box and let out a squeal. She was really happy to see us. Now we can finally breathe and see daylight. It is so bright out. Can you see my squinty eyes?

Hey Cheech, California looks pretty good. Aaahhgh, I can hardly move my legs. Gotta stretch ‘em so we can get outta this box.  Move over, your are hogging all the box. Hey my back legs and my butt are numb. Kick them for me will you, Cheech?

Oh no! What is that barking noise? It looks like a Chihuahua that is excited to see me. But he doesn’t look too friendly. He looks like an attack Chihuahua to me. And is he loud! I think I’ll growl back at him and show him what’s up!

 HA…. I scared him with my mean growl and that wimpy Chihuahua ran off with his ears down and his tail between his legs. I can see him shiverin’ . Guess I showed him a thing or two. Get outta Dodge! heh heh 

Uh oh! Who’s this? I guess I didn’t scare this one. What the hey! What are you doing with your teeth in my fluff? Hey that’s my butt you have in your mouth! Take it easy! Oops it bit on my spot that makes me growl. That should scare it. Nope..that didn’t work. HELP!!!

 Whew Cheech, I don’t know about this California. They have a lot of left wing Chihuahuas here. Look at me, I’m a mess. I have dirt all over me, my butt is aching, my nose is bent, and I think I have a shiner.  Cheech, where were you when I needed you? What…you Chihuahuas stick together? Hey, I could sure use a stale corn chip and a glass of water right about now!

Hey Harry, my name is squirrel. I too was shoved in a box and sent to California, and that little fat one did the same thing to me. Now look at me, I am natty and nasty, my underarms smell, I’m blind in one eye, and I have a constant headache. I can say one thing though, we still have our stuffing. They tug me out of the toy box and bring me onto the lawn, shake the crap outta me and leave me for days in the cold of the night and the heat of the sun. If it wasn’t for their gardener, I would be there still. Life in California sucks. Let me show you a nice place that we can hide until the coast is clear.

 Further adventures of Cheech will be coming soon to The Empty Nest . Keep an eye out and visit soon. 

NOT A GOOD SQUIRREL DAY

June 16, 2008

I woke up early Saturday morning and it was a wonderful day to do some gardening. I dug up an area that I wanted to put compost in and I found a peanut that was buried by some sinister squirrel. Remembering what happened to Jonesy when he dug up a peanut, I decided not to disturb it. I don’t want a crazy squirrel after me! 

After I finished, I was resting on the patio and admiring my new plantings and I saw a large black cat on the slope. It was stalking a squirrel that was on a tree trunk. The cat scampered up the tree, and the squirrel flew up even higher on the tree. I tried to get a shot of the cat running after the squirrel, but I didn’t get to my camera fast enough. Here is a picture of the cat retreating.  

 That squirrel was sooo upset at that darn cat. He sat on a branch and chitted for about 15 minutes. Chit chit chit….chit chit chit.  Was that squirrel pissed angry!

THE VIEW FROM MY BATHTUB

June 16, 2008

As I sat languishing in my hot bubble bath, soaking my troubles away, I heard 12 little paws pitter pattering down the hallway. I didn’t have the door completely closed and suddenly I saw a little brown nose nudge the bathroom door open. Sissy, Tinky and Jonesy ran into the bathroom like gangbusters. Hey wait a minute you guys, can’t anyone have a little privacy? I can’t believe that they didn’t snicker at the sight they saw.

HEY MOM, WHATCHA DOIN’? WHERE DID ALL YOUR FUR GO?

BUSTED AGAIN!

June 11, 2008

WordPress did it again! Every once in awhile I get a referrer from wordpress. This time is was from the “possible related posts”. I saw this on my stats as a referrer…. Demonica’s Two Sissy House . I went to that site to see why I got a referral. I know…it’s because of Sissy, my Chihuahua!

I looked at the post and I nearly laughed my patootie off.  I even commented on the post. Woo Hoo! Further down is the “possible related post” called “BUSTED”! It’s a story about me coming home unexpectedly and catching sissy on the kitchen table doing something that she should not have been doing. 

 I can see it now….someone has just visited the site and read the post. They saw my “related” post called BUSTED and must have thought they were going to really enjoy themselves and clicked on my link. Just imagine the disgust when they found my little cutesy story.

Heh heh heh….That’s what they get. A good dose of wholesomeness. Yuck.

MY DAY IS MADE!

June 11, 2008

Well, I should be flogged. I have another Award that was given to me on June 2nd (hey that’s not that bad) and I haven’t posted it until now. Mercedes at Mercedes World gave me this wonderful Award, and it’s really girly. I shall proudly display it on “MY AWARDS”  page.

Thanks Mercedes for this Award. I really do don’t deserve this Award, but I will treasure it always. Let’s see, who should I give this Award to? Mercedes already gave it to a lot of my doggy bloggy friends, so I will give this award to: Taaa Daaa

Drunkbunny at Bunnytude. Drunkbunny just happens to be Sparky’s Aunt at Sparky Chronicles. I will try to explain this the best way I know how. Sparky was given to Drunkbunny’s mother and father by Drunkbunny’s sister who writes the Sparky Chronicles Blog. Do I have that right Drunkbunny? Anyway, you should go over to her blog because she cracks me up.

Dobby at Chihuahua Post. Not that I am partial or anything, but Dobby is the cutest little deer type Chihuahua you have ever seen. He looks just like Jonesy, only he is black in color. His mommy dresses him up in the cutest outfits. You have to go and say, “Hi” to Dobby, especiially Tuffy and Mandy.

Pedro at Vote For Pedro! If you haven’t guessed by now, Pedro is another Chihuahua. And of course, he is as cute as any Chihuahua can be. You should stop by and say, “HI” and read all about his antics. Like Tuffy, Pedro is running for President. I wonder how he is doing?

IT’S ONLY DOG WATER…

June 9, 2008

I buy Four Paws Liquid Tarter Remover for my dogs. It has an enzyme in it that reduces the PH level in the dog’s saliva that helps control tartar. It also makes their breath smell kissing sweet, and keeps me from gagging every time the dogs kiss me.

I really bought that stuff for Jonesy because he is the “licker” in the family. The minute he is next you you, he WILL lick you in the face. And to make matters worse, that tongue goes right up the nostril. He is fast! Whew….he has the raunchiest breath you have ever smelled on a little Chihuahua. Jonesy and Sissy didn’t get the nickname “The Likkibutt Twins” for nothing. 

All you have to do is put 2 tablespoons of the stuff in a pitcher along with a half gallon of water. The pitcher of water goes into the refrigerator so it will keep. Every morning they get fresh cold water to drink, and they are none the wiser.

Last Mother’s Day I had the family over. Now, everyone knows that it’s really really difficult to keep track of everything that goes on in the house when you have a lot of people visiting. My grandson just happened to mention that his dad was thirsty, and he gave him a glass of water from the pitcher in the refrigerator. A smile came to my face…I leaned real close to him and whispered in his ear. I told him that he just happened to give his dad, “The Dog Water”, and I explained to him what The Dog Water was. His eyes got really big, and asked me nicely not to tell his dad that he was just given dog water to drink. I agreed to keep quiet about it. I knew it wouldn’t hurt him to drink it. After all…the dogs drink it and don’t complain.

By the way, all the dogs have better breath than I do. Now if I could just stop eating garlic…..

RUBBOARD STOMACHE

June 5, 2008

Okay everyone…I finally mustered up enough courage to post this video. But I am not going to post it without a thorough explanation. I don’t want everybody out there to think that I may be a “sandwich short of a lunch”.

One night I was in my bedroom, and I was playing music on my computer. Now everyone knows I love Lisa Haley  ‘cuz she makes me really really happy. Her song Rubboard Stomach came on I started to get in one of my stupidly happy moods (no alcohol involved here), and I started to sing along with Lisa.

I looked over on the bed, and I had six Chihuahua eyeballs staring at me. I grabbed Tinky and made her “dance” to the music. 

Tinky will never make it on “SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE”, and she will never get a ticket to Las Vegas. But…. we did have fun  I had fun.

Okay…..here goes….I’m gonna click on the “Publish” button!


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